There's no home for you here, girl, go away. There's no home for you here.

Oh, dear, we now come to the big summing-up post that I've been dreading for a while. I'll start with a story about yesterday. My supervising teacher, Mr. Q., had talked to me on Tuesday and asked when I was going to be at school on Thursday. I told him, and he said, "Good, we'll say good-bye on Thursday then."

Yesterday, while the class I was with was doing some group work, their teacher came up to me and said that Mr. Q. wasn't there that day. I asked if he was sick, and she said no, he'd taken the day off, and had only remembered that morning that it was my last day. He'd called this other teacher and told her to let me know.

It was such an appropriate ending to my dealings with him, where he's generally been well-intentioned, but absent-minded, that I had to laugh. I wrote him a note to say goodbye and thank you, and after an awkward and mercifully brief farewell with the other teachers, I left.

Oh, what to say about this year. I wouldn't call it a waste of time, even though there were a lot of moments when I felt really frustrated about doing so little work. Because I have learned a lot here, even if they weren't always the sort of things I expected. For example, I thought about signing up for an evening German class when I first got here, but decided against it, thinking that it would be better to improve my German by speaking it with the natives, instead of with other foreigners. And by the end of the year, the times when I spoke German the most were with a group of foreigners who got together once a week to go to a bar and speak a common foreign language with each other, and I met lots of nice people in that group. And I didn't make German friends, like I'd hoped I would, or ever really feel welcome among the Germans I had to deal with, but I guess I got used to not feeling welcome, and trying to handle that feeling like an adult. I thought I would come here and never want to leave, and instead, the longer I stay, the more I miss about the U.S. (Isn't that such a cliche? Going abroad only to figure out how American you are? I'm ashamed of myself).

I filled in an end-of-year report from Fulbright, and it's currently sitting in my draft box, waiting to see if I want to modify the language at all. It's not that bad - I really just said that, if I had friends who were thinking of applying for a Fulbright TAship - and I do, and have said this - I would tell them not to. If you want to spend a year abroad, go for it, but look for a job that includes real responsibilities, and a real salary, and optimally health insurance.

I'll be a little sad about leaving Berlin, but hopefully I won't have the sort of crippling reverse culture shock that hit me when I came back from Rome and saw about six weeks of me moping, crying, and wishing I were anywhere else but boring old grey Chicago. I don't think so - I'm actually really looking forward to getting back, seeing my family, eating some bagels, and then heading out to California for the next phase of my life. I'll miss the quality European coffee and baked goods, but, y'know. No country on earth has it all. If it did, there'd be no reason to travel. (And speaking of traveling - not that I'll have the money anytime soon - I think my next trip will be beyond Europe. I'd love to go to Japan, or Australia).

Well, I'm rambling here, and I need to go pack and clean my room, so I should probably close. Hope that everyone's summer is going well, and that I'll see some of you in Chicago when I get home!